"You should WISH I was dead!"

 Me, thinking of my grandmother with Alzheimers and how my grandfather is taking care of her: "Who's going to take care of me when I'm old?" 

Jim: "You know what your problem is? You haven't had enough husbands! I'm just a starter husband! Look at all my other wives! They obviously knew that! The problem with you is that you think I'm going to be your *only* husband."


Me, flabbergasted: "You *are* my only husband! You just need to live forever. You need to take better care of yourself so you live until at least 100."


Jim: "You should WISH that I was dead! I'm an asshole! Aren't I an asshole? You should be wishing I was dead so you didn't have to deal with me anymore! The sooner I die, the sooner your life gets easier!"