Phone Call At Work

"______ Library Reference, How may I help you?" -Me
“Hi. Is Emily there?" [screaming and crying in the background] -Jim
“Yes. This is her.”
“Where’s the yeast?” -Jim
“What?”
“THE YEAST! WHERE IS THE YEAST?”
“Oh! It’s in the refridgerator, on the door, third shelf down.”
“Is it in the big mason jar or the little mason jar? Or is it in this tupperware thing? There’s two jars that look like they have yeast in them.”
“It’s in the big mason jar.”
“What’s in the little mason jar? What’s in this tupperware container?”
“I don’t know. I’m at work. I can’t see in the jar.”
“Are you sure this is yeast?”
“Smell it if you’re not sure. Does it smell like yeast?”
“Yes.”
“Why do you need yeast?”
“Because you put a note in Emerson’s lunch saying he’d have pizza for dinner. How much yeast do I put in?”
“A package or two and a half teaspoons.”
“Two teaspoons? That seems like a lot. I thought it was just one teaspoon. Okay. Now how much flour?”
“Wait a minute. Are you doing this right now?”
“Yes. How much flour? [screaming in background gets louder]”
“I don’t know know--why don’t you use a recipe?”
“A recipe? I’m not doing that! Just tell me! How much flour?”
“Okay...wait...1 cup of warm water, 2.5 teaspoons of yeast, one tablespoon of sugar, two tablespoons of oil,” I continue to give him the rest of the ingredients. After each ingredient he inserts an impatient yes.
“Fine, fine, fine. But how much flour?”
“Two cups, mix it up and then keep adding flour until it’s of a consistency that you can knead.”
“Great.” Hangs up phone.