Chicken Diapers?

A few days ago my oldest walked up to me and said, "Mom, the next time we make something together, can we make a chicken diaper?"

chicken diaper on Mypetchicken.com

WHAT??!???

First, I must say I thought he was making this up. Who in the world has heard of a chicken diaper? Apparently, Emerson, my eight-year-old son has. He promptly went to the internet and showed me some pictures of chicken diapers. Amazing. The internet has everything.

"Why do you want to make a chicken diaper?" I asked him, still puzzled.

"So Brownie [his pet chicken] can come inside with us," was his answer.

It would be difficult to imagine my face at that moment.

Sure, we have chickens. Yes, I am fond of them. Yes, I keep chicks in my bathtub...sometimes.... But full-grown chickens roaming the house? That is a whole new level of chicken love. I'm not sure I'm ready for that level of chicken love. Apparently my son is.

I have tried to put him off, hoping he would forget about making a chicken diaper. Not only has he not forgotten, he has rallied the troops. Now ALL of the kids want to make diapers for their favorite chickens.

I am doomed. If one chicken starts roaming the house, guaranteed three will be THREE roaming the house and then what? The house becomes a barn? Probably. It's half way there already, as anyone with three or more children knows.

As long as I'm doomed, though, wouldn't you think I'd be able to find somewhere on the world wide web a well-illustrated tutorial on how to make a chicken diaper? No!

There is this video on making a chicken diaper:

 

But the obvious drawback of a video is that there are no scalable templates. And there are no little pieces of paper with written instructions and clearly laid out, step by step directions, like my favorite tutorial. This woman is magical in her abilites, but I need a whole lot more information...especially about the measuring part. How in the world am I supposed to measure a squawking and flapping chicken? The chickens in the video are much more sedate and cooperative than mine.

So far I have been able to stall the chicken diaper making by claiming I do not have the right size elastic. This is true. But my son will not be put off indefinitely: he has made me set a date for buying the elastic and fully plans to force me into my sewing studio as soon as the elastic has been purchased. I can see it in his eyes: this chicken diaper is happening, whether I like it or not.

I will let you know how it goes. Perhaps there will even be pictures. And if there are chickens in my house, there will certainly be prayers. Most likely the Serenity Prayer....