Chicken Diapers?

A few days ago my oldest walked up to me and said, "Mom, the next time we make something together, can we make a chicken diaper?"

chicken diaper on Mypetchicken.com

WHAT??!???

First, I must say I thought he was making this up. Who in the world has heard of a chicken diaper? Apparently, Emerson, my eight-year-old son has. He promptly went to the internet and showed me some pictures of chicken diapers. Amazing. The internet has everything.

"Why do you want to make a chicken diaper?" I asked him, still puzzled.

"So Brownie [his pet chicken] can come inside with us," was his answer.

It would be difficult to imagine my face at that moment.

Sure, we have chickens. Yes, I am fond of them. Yes, I keep chicks in my bathtub...sometimes.... But full-grown chickens roaming the house? That is a whole new level of chicken love. I'm not sure I'm ready for that level of chicken love. Apparently my son is.

I have tried to put him off, hoping he would forget about making a chicken diaper. Not only has he not forgotten, he has rallied the troops. Now ALL of the kids want to make diapers for their favorite chickens.

I am doomed. If one chicken starts roaming the house, guaranteed three will be THREE roaming the house and then what? The house becomes a barn? Probably. It's half way there already, as anyone with three or more children knows.

As long as I'm doomed, though, wouldn't you think I'd be able to find somewhere on the world wide web a well-illustrated tutorial on how to make a chicken diaper? No!

There is this video on making a chicken diaper:

 

But the obvious drawback of a video is that there are no scalable templates. And there are no little pieces of paper with written instructions and clearly laid out, step by step directions, like my favorite tutorial. This woman is magical in her abilites, but I need a whole lot more information...especially about the measuring part. How in the world am I supposed to measure a squawking and flapping chicken? The chickens in the video are much more sedate and cooperative than mine.

So far I have been able to stall the chicken diaper making by claiming I do not have the right size elastic. This is true. But my son will not be put off indefinitely: he has made me set a date for buying the elastic and fully plans to force me into my sewing studio as soon as the elastic has been purchased. I can see it in his eyes: this chicken diaper is happening, whether I like it or not.

I will let you know how it goes. Perhaps there will even be pictures. And if there are chickens in my house, there will certainly be prayers. Most likely the Serenity Prayer....

Yinz Need To Check This Place Out!

I'm sorry. I have to do it. I just can't stay silent anymore.

GOT TO MILLER'S!

If you live anywhere near Pittsburgh, you have to go to E.N. Millers! It's this mind-blowing antique store on a dusty, run-down street in Verona, PA (just on the outskirts of Pittsburgh). I only found the place a couple of weeks ago and am aghast that it stayed hidden from me for so long!

Here's what I know about it:

E.N. Millers used to be a furniture store, sometime in the early 1900's. The furniture business was good until about twenty years ago when the now-owner's grandmother decided to do something crazy and turn the place into an antique mall.

"Nobody thought it would work," the owner told me, "but it turned out to be the best idea she ever had!"

E.N. Millers (or just plain "Miller's") was voted the Best Antique Store in Pittsburgh for five years running.... My question is: How can that be when so few people actually seem to know about it?

I'm sorry for ruining it for those of you who go there now and wanted to keep it a secret, but the rest of the population must experience this amazing Pittsburgh gem!

My story started when I was looking for a dining room table. My neighbor, a long time Penn Hills resident said casually, "Why don't you look at Millers?"

I had no idea what she was talking about. And when she said "antique" I suddenly saw dollar signs. Lots of them.

"Oh, no! It's not like that. You have to check it out," she insisted.

"But do they really have furniture? Or is it just a few small pieces?" I was still skeptical.


Batman photo of the dining room table

"You have to check it out," was all she could say.

And now I think I know why: Miller's is indescribable. It's three large floors of indescribable. There are big things and tiny things and so many things in between.

I went looking for a dining room table and determined, with three children in tow, that I would ONLY look for a dining room table. I had furniture tunnel vision. And there, on the third floor, amidst tapestry covered chairs, I found the most gorgeous table I had ever set eyes on. This was the table for me. I was in love.

I discovered later that I was not just in love with the table: I was in love with Millers. I bought my table but then I went back. And back again. Now I fantasize about going there on my free afternoons (which are practically non-existent, hence the fantasy). Millers is the kind of place a person can visit scores of times and still, the next time, find something she's never seen before.

Still skeptical? Here's what you should do: like their page on Facebook. The pictures they post will
make you mentally drool. So much amazingness in one place, it would be a shame to miss it, wouldn't it?

YES, IT WOULD. Now go! Go to Millers! Find something blissful!

Browse through the display windows--BE the display if you want! But don't hang around too long because everything is for sale and I'd worry that someone might come along and put a price tag on you. (Don't be fooled by this modest exterior--the interior will BLOW YOUR antique-loving MIND!)



En Millers, 615 East Railroad Avenue, Verona, PA 15147

Chicken Tractors and Overwrought Neighbors

Apparently my chicken obsession has gotten out of control. Here's how I know: this was a conversation I had with my son, Harland, after informing all the children I was off to pick up some free chicks--
Harland: "Mommy, how many chickens do you want?"
Me, a little embarrassed: "Why? How many chickens do you think we should have?"
Harland: "As many as you want."

Obviously even my children have learned not to intervene in my chicken obsession....

But, in my defense, I was on Facebook trolling around when I saw this posting for free chicks. FREE CHICKS, people! Not just any free chicks, either: 4 week old free chicks from a local hatchery! I mean, the poster had me at "free chicks" so I private messaged him/her and asked if I could have five, thinking that was a pretty reasonable number. I figured we had lost two from our original brood and I was going to order Easter Eggers, Wyandottes and Buffs in the spring when I had to cancel my plans due to a family emergency (there are some things that are more important than chickens). And this person was giving away guess what? Easter Eggers, Wyandottes and Buffs! I felt as though God Himself was giving me a little mid-June present....

"You're only going to get three, right?" Jim asked me as I put the rubbermaid chicken transporting contraption in the car.

Sometimes it's best to let these things be a suprise.

Here's one of my problems, though: I have a hard time containing my joy. Especially on social media. So of course I posted about the free chickens and my complete and utter excitement. Unlike some people who use social media, I don't have hundreds of friends I don't know. Most of the people on my Facebook page are family, close friends and then somewhat distant friends. I talk to them all, and most of them I see on a fairly regular basis. And the chicken obsession is not something I can hide: my chickens are often the topic of conversation and the subjects of photos on my Facebook page.

All was well until a neighbor posted a comment about our local zoning ordinances. This wouldn't be so odd if this same neighbor didn't have chickens herself--she does! Not only that, it was her coops I visited before building my own. I have consulted her all along the way as I planned for my own chicks and even invited her over to inspect my coop after it was built. In fact, it was awe-inspiring how many chickens she had when I first met her: by my own count, there were more than 20! And a rooster! Only a couple blocks from my house!

So I found her comment odd...and was further flummoxed when she messaged me later, saying, "Please be careful with quantity...Don't get all us chicken owners in trouble." Wait! This was the woman whose brood had at one point eclipsed mine by more than 15 chickens telling me to cool it? Whoa. I had to take a moment and pause. Perhaps my chicken obsession was out of hand....

That moment passed. I brought my five beautiful chicks home--two Easter Eggers, two Wyandottes (so gorgeous!) and one Golden Buff Orpington. I had just finished transitioning some pullets in with the bigs and these chicks were just too small to go in with all the others. For a week they were inside, but I quickly realized they needed a more permanent solution, one that did not make my house smell like a barn.

Hence the chicken tractor! I cajoled Jim into helping me build yet another chicken coop, albiet a smaller, more portable one.


Chicken tractor in process

They call these things Chicken Tractors, even though they aren't tractors in any way. Small coops of this size with open bottoms usually have wheels and can be moved around a yard or garden to allow the chickens to fertilize the land. They may have gotten their name because farmers use tractors to move the portable coops around. Ours (above) has a small coop with roosting poles on one end and a fenced run on the other end. (Finished pictures to come!) I could not be more happy with it! And we built it for less than $50 in materials.

The little girls are now in their lovely chicken tractor and very happy, pecking and clucking away. The brood has grown, but not out of control. And I am learning to temper my chicken obsession: the final number of chickens has been reached.

No more chickens! At least not for a while....